Overcoming Bad Inner Voices

Overcoming Bad Inner Voices


Overcoming bad inner voices We don’t often think about it, and may never discuss it with others at all, but pretty much everyone has voices in their heads. A murmuring stream of thoughts that run along inside our minds most of the time. Sometimes, the inner voice is encouraging, calling for you to run those final few yards, “You’re nearly there, keep going! Keep going!” Or urging you to calm down because you know it will all be okay in the end. But sometimes… …the inner voice is simply not very nice at all. It is defeatist and punitive, panic-ridden and humiliating. It doesn’t represent anything like our best insights or most mature capacities. It’s not the voice of our better nature. We find ourselves saying, “You disgust me,” “Things always go to shit with you,” or “You useless little idiot.” Where do inner voices come from? An inner voice always used to be an outer voice. We absorb the tone of others: a harassed or angry parent, the menacing threats of an elder sibling keen to put us down, the words of a schoolyard bully, or a teacher who seemed impossible to please. We internalized the unhelpful voices, because at certain key moments in the past they sounded compelling. The authority figures repeated their messages over and over, until they got lodged in our own way of thinking. Part of achieving happiness and maturity involves altering our inner voices which means encountering equally convincing and confident, but also helpful and constructive varieties of voices over long periods and taking care to internalize them. They might be the voices of a friend, a therapist or an author. We need to hear them often enough and around tricky enough issues that they come to feel normal and natural responses, so that eventually, They come to feel like things we are saying to ourselves. They become our own thoughts. The best sort of inner voice speaks to us in a gentle, kind and unhurried way. It should feel as if a sympathetic arm were being put around our shoulder by someone who had lived long and seen a great many sad things, but wasn’t embittered or panicked by them. In certain states of humiliation around work, in many of us, there is a mocking and contemptuous voice inside one’s head. It suggests that love, respect, and kindness only ever come via worldly success and competence. Our failure: not being able to make a public speech, taking time to learn to drive a car, not being especially brilliant at sales, rightly debars us from love and appreciation. We need to incorporate a voice that separates out achievement from love, that reminds us that we may be worthy of affection, even if we fail, and that being a winner is only one part, and not necessarily the most important part, of one’s identity. This is, traditionally, the voice of the mother, but it might also be the voice of a lover, a poet we like, or a nine year old child chatting to his or her mom or dad about stress at the office. It is the voice of a person who loves you for being you, outside of achievement. Many of us grew up around nervous people: people who lost their tempers the moment the parking ticket couldn’t be found, and who were knocked off course by relatively minor administrative hurdles, like the electricity bill. These people had no faith in themselves, and therefore, without necessarily wanting to do us harm, couldn’t have much faith in our abilities either. Every time we faced an exam, they got more alarmed than we did. They always asked multiple times if we had enough to wear when we went outside, they worried about our friends and our teachers. They were sure the holiday was going to turn into a disaster. Now, these voices have become our own, and cloud our capacity to take an accurate measurement of what we are capable of. We have internalized voices of irrational fear and fragility. At such moments, we need an alternative voice that can pause our runaway fears and remind us of the strength we have latent within us, which the currents of panic have hidden from us. Our heads are large, cavernous spaces. They contain the voices of all the people we have ever known. We should learn to mute the unhelpful ones, and focus on the voices we really need to guide us through the thickets of life. We humbly offer this voice, as one of the more helpful ones we might take on board. [Outro video, left side] From a young age, we’re taught it’s a terrible thing. So when we feel it, as we all do, we are inclined not to examine it, we just feel— [Outro video, right side, man]
—Regional Italian. Whatever that means.
*Chuckle* [Woman] It got some amazing reviews online.

100 Replies to “Overcoming Bad Inner Voices”

  1. I found some help speaking in front of mirror same way I talk to friends when they have hard times. Also hiking and thinking about everything and anything that pops up a bit and then listening silence just standing there. Traded social media and tv for beautiful nature and it helps a lot with my chronic depression. 🙂

  2. This was pretty good and somewhat motivational. Knowing that each of us has our own ins and outs to our own achievements we make in life.

  3. Dear people who suffered emotional neglect in childhood and also everyone else,

    You in no way were responsible for the fallacies of your parents. When we are abused as children we tend to think we don't deserve love and kindness from people around us and end up sabotaging their efforts. Remember that you are unique, you are beautiful, you are lovable. Love yourself unconditionally, shower yourself with love for being you. See you will make mistakes but if you love yourself you will find the strength to say "It's okay, its human nature to be like this". The assurance from yourself will give you joy even when things go very wrong. You will be your own lover, friend and parent, glowing with inner warmth, helping people discover their own glow and helping them love themselves. This will give you the zeal to live, and even in darkest times, you will be grateful for your existence.

    Love yourself the way you want people to love you and never once will you feel that life is not worth living.

    Keep glowing,
    Love,
    Human,
    Earth,
    2019

    P.S: The message of self-love is urgent. It might prevent someone from committing suicide, it helped me.

  4. Generally speaking, bad inner voices come from the outside and only take root in your mind after someone else puts them there. That's why I like being alone.

  5. 2 years ago i was a weak piece of sh#t, that had a really poor self-image.

    Today i feel unstoppable and almost narcissistic.

    What changed me?

    I found God and Punk Rock.

    No joke.

  6. And where we can find those voices we should focus on instead of our inner voice? What how it’s going to be if we had none ??

  7. I've tried to forgive the outer voices, but I have a feeling there were voices I cannot/won't remember. They have haunted me for decades.

  8. The result for me has been to cut my body all over with knives and razor blades as well as to make two suicide attempts.

  9. I was surrounded by love growing up but a love that was far too reticent. The voices of my critics and bullies were much more prominent.

  10. I promise to not become the people who were the harsh punitive outer voices that haunted me in the most critical years of my life.

  11. I cannot possibly comprehend how someone can dislike such videos…
    Thank you for another marvellous post. 🙌🏼😌😊

  12. At the end of the video a voice automatically thought in my head:
    "as if this is even realistic, you can't rely on others to help you in this way. stand strong on your own first." (in fewer words and practically instantaneous)
    a bit self destructive perhaps… but its how it has always been for years

  13. It's really sad to think of how all of those negative words controlling my seemingly "permanent" inner voices, were said by the ones I love/loved the most in the world. I guess that's what has made them so powerful. I must take back control.

  14. 4:00 I don’t want to be that guys but what do you do if you legitimately don’t have anybody? Not a single friend to count on because you didn’t make any when you moved from a small town in Iowa to California. Not a single lover to cry to. No one in your family you can tell your problems to because they’ll just through it in your face when they’re mad. No grandparents to count on because they will just judge you and your parents for doing shit wrong. No one outside your immediate family because they also just judge you for every single little thing.

    What are you supposed to do when you legitimately don’t have single soul you can go and vent to? Or count on or just be there…

    But whatever right? what doesn’t kill us makes a stronger? Or at least that’s what tell each other

  15. While it's interesting to think who's voice has been embedded in me, I think it's even more interesting to think who has MY voice inside their heads.

  16. It just hurts when you know that the only way to silence the inner voices is by doing something. Sensory overload visually or auditorily by music, scrolling social media apps, playing video games, talking for very long. It's hard not having a good way to have a more caring voice that doesn't need to be shut out…

  17. Tell me about it, like a broken record sometimes or more if one has CPTSD/PTSD! And of course, the media doesn't help either with it's not so subliminal voices about the obsessive need to be "Rich and famous" and not being good enough, as good as all those rich and famous , successful celebrities that often times do themselves in and commit suicide in the end they're soooo happy! This is pervasive in this society, more so now than ever with an ongoing epidemic of malignant narcissism/sociopathy etc. Not only here in the states, but world wide so guess we could almost call it a pandemic! Think about it! smdh

  18. I know it’s a serious thing and everyone’s being real, but I just can’t stop thinking about how half the balloons popped and mans then started floating.

  19. My inner voices convince me to hurt others. I have been kicked out of many day cares. convinced multiple babysitters to quit. expelled several times. caused families to move away to protect their kids. to sexually harm. how does this video help me?

  20. It’s a strange dynamic. The negative voices are the only ones I hear, but I am successful at many of the things I do because I want to prove the voice wrong. It’s when I’m not doing what I’m good at that the voice drives me into self loathing, but I’m sure I wouldn’t be as successful at the good things if the negative voice wasn’t there telling me I couldn’t. Anyone else feel the same? Did it make you successful at something and drive you mad when you were just alone with your thoughts? What did it make you good at?

  21. My inner voice is me I've been always independent in nature and never let somebody or their taughts of me to take the wheel. There were occasions when I thought of what others said or what will they say and there were also times which I have asked what to do. But in the end regardless of what people or your inner voice says you know you have the wheel in front of you and freedom of making decisions. Actions have consequences, well being alive and staying alive is enough to pay for those consequences. Period

  22. Does anyone else not only hear inner voices but imagine the actual people who have wronged you there yelling at you everyday?

  23. My inner voice constantly reminds me "I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I'm stupid, I'm going to get fired become homeless and be more of a drag on society and life as a whole, etc"

  24. I have no idea where my inner voice came from. I cant think about anybody who told me what my inner voice says. it says stuff like "you stupid shit, this is why nobody likes you" or smth like that

  25. i cried watching this.. Especially when you said all inner voices used to be outer voices..

    I grew up with physically and verbally abusive parents..

  26. I always have an inner voice. And I end up bin drinking or perform dangerous activities just to make it shut up. And end up achieve nothing in my life.

  27. Mine started in on me early this evening…got to say haven't heard it in a little while. Was doing great without it!!!

  28. My brother did that for years and now i'm sufrer as adult cuz it my dad pass away when i was 12 so i see him as a role model of how to be a persone but all he do was bring me down don't get me wrong he's a nice brother he did that to protect me from the cold world but he hurt me pyschologicly😢

  29. Sometimes it’s so hard to feel okay when you realize that you don’t have nowhere to come back to. Jealous of looking at those people who are treated well by their parents, loving and understanding. While you, you are alone in this world, nowhere to talk to. And the worst, when someone is willing to be there for you, you push them away, cause you don’t want to be a burden to them, and you don’t feel worthy of their love. And when they force to be there for you, you still can’t let them hear you. Cause you assume that they will be bored of you asking for help all of the time. And you feel like attention seeking and a drama queen. You feel like they will be happier without you, you just want to disappear from everybody’s life.
    That is when suicidal thoughts come around. It’s like, screaming for help but nobody hears you cause you’re underwater, water of anxiety and depression.
    Even though you have write it down, and only takes a send button to tell them, you’ll still feel that they won’t understand and think you’re insane, etc.

  30. I once heard that when we hear the negative voices in our minds, it’s helpful to try and identify whose voice it is. Is it your mother’s voice, or your boss’s voice. Try it, it’s amazing to be able to put a name to the voices going around in your head.

    I tried it and I was shocked by how many other people’s voices had been internalised, and how much attention I paid to them.

    Nowadays, I try to develop the habit of saying to myself, “ah, that’s my mum’s voice telling me I can’t do this because I’m not good enough.” Once I’ve identified the voice I respond with another voice, my own voice and say “no, mum, I get to decide what I can and can’t do, and for the record, I was always good enough, and I’m sorry that you never realised that.”

    Excellent video 👏👏👏

  31. So beautiful, the animation is so good, I have seen and listened this for many many times and am preparing to record it. You put so much work in it. Thanks a lot.

  32. A fantastic video, thanks! Focus on the good parts and the way to a better you. You guys do a great job by making this videos and sending out these messages. 🙂

  33. Just drink loads of alcohol and you can kill that voice. I hate my life and I drink loads to block out everything. One day I will drink too much ans then me and everone else can have a sigh of relief. So anyway fuck off with your bullshit!

  34. It told you how you got your inner voices and that they are not an accurate representation of reality, but never said how to overcome them…or did I miss it?

  35. Bad thoughts is like a dick. It looks intimidating, and it's hard to beat, but once you beat it down relentlessly, it will get limped out and turned smol

  36. Odd i have been called stupid my whole life and I am 50. Really odd since i am in Mensa and finished university making really good returns for investments and I majored in business. For kicks I won fairly high level martial arts tournaments (pun intended) too, yet only insults. They even said I sucked with women, right before I dated and subsequently married a very successful beauty with a big heart.
    2 things from all of this:
    1) not one of the insulters was proven to be better than I was at whatever the insult was, in fact, they were usualy proven worse qualitatively.
    2) I never ever doubted myself for one second ever according to what they said. They were so off-the-mark they lost my respect.

    Thanks if you made it this far.

  37. “The voice that loves you for being you outside of your achievement” – THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES‼️ PRAISE JESUS THE LOVER OF MY SOUL ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

  38. To anyone struggling with depression or just mental illness in general, I have video's that I make on my channel that may help your outlook on yourself and on existence as a whole. I know this everyday fight can be draining….. I turn my fight into video's with the hope they may help someone. I love you, never give up.

    -TheMiddleChild

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